Thursday, 29 September 2011

jabby jab jab

ahhhhh, in these modern times don't adults love to make pincushions out of us, today was jabs, the first of three in a period of six months and, today was the most stressful day of my life.

First of all was the leaflet,on the front is a pic of someone holding a crappy pink phone from the seventys and on the screen i quote "Had my cervical cancer jab 2day no probs, c u l8r".
I really hope thats not what the NHS think of twelve year old britain, anyway flicking past the lies about how this was all going to be fine of course you go straight to the side-effects, it says "Stinging and soreness in the arm is common and wears off in a couple of days. More serious side effects are extremely rare and the nurse's know how to deal with them".
This didn't fill me with confidence, and sitting in the main hall and watching sixty people who i know getting jabbed over and over again by bored looking nurses. Some throwing up, at least a couple going into wild panics and being held down by the person who was supposed to be comforting us and one or two fainting and being carried to the side of the room in the shade of the raidiators to be gently slapped into conciousness.

And it dident help that we all had to pull down one side of our shirts to show the "fleshy" part of our arms. And our bras to the boys who were sneaking glance through the doors which were mostly made of glass, and being oogled by everyone in the playground thanks, to massive floor to ceiling windows on one wall.

The grand total of casualtys are drumroll please, four people collapsed including a girl in my form who was found on the floor outside our registration room after asking for some fresh air, five people throwing up, general nausia, headaches, an inability to lift your arm, seriouse trauma for those with needle phobia and headaches which go from throbbing to the feeling that a small mole is eating your brain, happy days.

At this very moment i am lying on my bed typing with one hand seeing as the other has been rendered useless, with a feeling like a hampster is running round the inside of my skull, experiencing a tight throat, feeling like im going to throw up, a temperature and never-ending hunger.
One down, two to go.

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